Day 5: Sleepwalking and all that Jazz 

Good gorgeous morning! (Note: Post is late today due to a website glitch)

Woke up 2 hours late.. slept through 2 alarm clocks and must have needed it. Rested but groggy, coffee kicked me into gear and morning routine house chores got done swiftly and out into the beautiful pristine -20 C morning air, looking after the grand chickens. Ate too much oatmeal and finally settled for Yoga with Adriene (I should have reversed..). Highly recommended, the practice only takes 30 minutes (more if one slows down the video) and feeds body & soul for the remainder of the day. Do it! There is a session for everyone, no matter the ability. Adriene makes my day now, every day.

Taking stock from yesterday:

I learned something. For the first 3 days I had reserved piano practice for the end of the day, favouring the energizing fun vocal practice for the afternoon. Not a good idea. by the time I got to the piano, I had no steam left and no capacity comprehending the new learning experience. It's reversed now. 

In regards to comprehension, l must admit that I will never fully understand or appreciate social media. In fact, in my mind it messes with people's heads, whether they gather illusions as they fish for 'likes' or make trolley comments. My sensitive artist brain dissects everything presented there in front of me, leaving me way too affected.   

So, in the past, I have come and gone and come back from and to social media, following and unfollowing according to how it has made me feel, actually freezing my well being and creative sense as bold and powerful posts took the wind completely out of my sails, leaving me feeling useless, guilty and depressed. Yup. 

No longer do I deal with fb. Instagram appears kinder, predominantly dealing with photography. Also gives permission to express oneself without being faced with instant toxicity. Merely an outlet, followers or not. For me at least. One can still hang on to original thoughts without the influence of outside forces. 

Thus, I enjoy the deeply personal and sincere experience when writing newsletters and now blogs / diaries. Honest feedback has been tremendous lately ~ something I would never get within social media, as every comment is being tailored to a broad, thirsty audience. An email appears like someone sends a hand written letter. It takes effort, but is also much more treasurable. Soon I hope to leave social media all together. Wouldn't that be swell?

So, as of yesterday, I am also learning to focus more mindfully, taking 2 hours in earnest to really learn piano for my goals & purposes. Taming my artist brain ain't easy, fireworks going into all directions..  It took me almost 2 years to finally find my own route of learning piano. I feel for EVERYONE out there who is being chastised, judged and ridiculed in the education system. NEVER give up. 

In that same breath; Jazz has provided an amazing opportunity for self expression, supported by some brilliant musicians and stellar human beings, who are open minded, skilled and fun to work with. It took hard work on my behalf. Some jazz cats just won't talk to you unless you are male or in their 'clique'. They treat you differently when you are female, not equal. That makes me furious. I need to learn indifference. 

One incredibly gifted female jazz guitarist comes to mind: Emily Remler. Being female in a male dominated jazz terrain can be devastating. Here is her story.

Thank goodness, things are improving, for the most part.

I am pleased to say, that everything musical in my life has been accomplished 'By Ear'. It is totally possible. As my Jazz mentor and Jazz Master Sheila Jordan puts it rather candidly, quote: "Those so called Jazz professionals are all 'full of it'. I have never taken a lesson in my life". She says it right on stage! Hilarious.

And you? Do you have mentors in your life? Please comment. 

Find below today's tune 'We Pretend', from my Solitude album. The song was co-written with Doug Wilde. Must I say more.  


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